Thursday, December 1, 2011

Sketchblog Edition 117: When The Darkness Weakens You...

...That's when the light shines brightest.
Well, life has been crazy.
I'll spare you the details, but I will say this:
Over the past couple years I've had a lot of problems.
I've had a lot of breakdowns and mess-ups,
and I can't say I reacted to them well.

It took me a while, but recently I reached a very eye-opening realization.
When it seems as if the world is against you,
and nothing good is happening,
you can either curl up in a ball and cry and give up,
or you can turn away from your problems and try to force them to disappear,
you can lift your head up and look forward,
and see that life is still happening.
It's happening all around you.
I got so worn down from so many terrible things happening in my life that I very nearly gave up hope,
but then I had a revelation that it's your own responsibility for how you feel.
I know that sounds a little bit cold,
but hear me out.
The world isn't against you.
Bad things happen, that's just the way it is.
The universe isn't purposely putting terrible things in your way.
It's just life happening around you, and though it can be terrible, it can also be wonderful.
What you have to do is decide how you're going to react to it.
Are you going to get upset and emotional and act rashly
(which you'll definitely regret later)?
Or are you going to let it roll off your back, suck it up,
and have faith in the good that is constantly happening around you,
have faith in the people that love you and are there for you,
have faith that your friends will not abandon you,
and even if they do, it's their own problem to work out?

For a long time I chose the former,
but now I've decided it's time to change my own future,
to change my present,
and start being positive in everything I do.

It's time for me to admit:
I have had abandonment issues my entire life.
I won't get into the details,
but something that happened a long time ago messed me up,
and made me paranoid.

I was a lonely kid and felt like if I didn't prove myself to people,
they'd all leave me.
I started putting a lot of stock in friendships,
and it became one of my strong points.
But now whenever a friend turns their back on me,
it very nearly kills me (and I wish that were an exaggeration).
However, now I've chosen to embrace those issues for what good they've done for me,
and cast aside whatever bad they've done in my life.
I've decided I won't let my fears restrict me or slow me down.
If someone abandons me,
that's just something they'll have to deal with.
I'll fight for them as long as they'll allow me to,
but if they want to let go of an extremely loyal and honest friend so easily,
let it be.
I won't let my heart be broken by anyone anymore.
I won't let my life be tied down by a friend-turned-enemy.

And if you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel the need to abandon a friendship,
just ask yourself this question:
Who am I deciding to be here?
Will this help me grow?
Will this help me solve whatever problems I have in my life and become a better person?
Will this help my relationships in the future?

I know I haven't been the best person in the world.
I'm not perfect, and that's okay.
I'm human, just like everyone else.
And that gives me the power to understand other people better.
That in turn allows me to grow, and improve whatever pitfalls I have.
I'll get better because I'll keep moving.
I'm done with stagnancy,
and allowing all the bad things that have happened to stop me in my tracks.
No more of that.

I am free of fear,
and therefore free to grow.
But I am not without compassion.
I'll still love and cry and hurt.
Because, you see...
that is what makes life-
and the people we interact with-
worth it all.

And now that you've had an earful,
have some sketches!

I'm gearing up to draw more TAoCKF pages,
so you'll definitely be seeing much more of Emma and Chester here! :D

 Here are some concept sketches for a new story I've got in the works.
It's called "Harbinger" and it delves into a lot of mythology of birds.
(Honestly, what else did you expect from me?)

Work has been slow lately,
but it's definitely provided me with some good sketches.
Here we see my coworker's dog Panda as a human.
Below that is a mini-comic about the absolute slowest day we've had.

I'm trying to revive an old story of mine as well.
It will probably be drastically different than what it used to be.

The below comic is sort of kind of based off a possibly real conversation between me and my friend Matt.
 (DISCLAIMER: I really do know what abhorrent means.
Matt is not abhorrent.)

I've been plant-sitting for my friend Drew,
and decided it would be cute to draw his plant Geoffrey with my plant Tomamono.
They make a cute pair.

And finally, I'm not alone in an empty house anymore!
One of my lovely roommates, Bridget, came back at last!
I was quite excited and rolled around on her bed/futon for a while,
before finally retreating to my room and giving her space.
Welcome back, Bridget!

That's all, everyone!
Hope you enjoyed it!
I probably won't be doing a lot of updates until January,
since I'm going to be going home for Christmas soon.
And yes, I know I didn't do the requests from last month yet,
but there were only three, so I thought it'd be nicer to upload them when I have a bunch of other requests as well.
I promise they'll happen. :')

Love you all,
and goodnight!

Emily J Sampson

p.s. In case I miss it,
Happy Christmas! :)

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