Not-Sketchblog 12: Proper Investments

I find it easy to be swept away by my emotions.
I love too easily, and lose control.
Then it takes me an extremely long and painful time to regain myself.

So here's a word of warning to women similar to me:
don't depend on someone else to make you happy.

Don't invest all your time and emotions in someone who may not return your feelings,
may not share your dreams and hopes,
and absolutely one-hundred percent,
DO NOT invest your time and emotions and hopes and dreams and life
in someone who doesn't share your core values,
or your general opinion of the way the universe works.

This past year and a half has been an enlightening one for me.
I've gone through many changes,
and more pain (physical and emotional) than anyone should ever have to know.

For a solid 4 months last summer, I had either spent every night tossing and turning or crying myself to sleep,
because I had gambled everything I had and knew on a return on my emotional investment in someone.
I let myself believe that they could change and that I could prove to them that you don't have to spend your entire life alone in the universe.
But some people don't change that easily.

I did learn one thing from the entire experience, though.
I have to focus on my own dreams,
joining together with a group of talented artists and forming a studio of our own,
which happens to be coming true,
and not depend so much on someone who can't understand that dream.

So, women of the world who love easily and fall for the men that smooth-talk you and play romantic,
take these words to heart:
You are strong,
you are beautiful,
you have your own life,
and you can be independent.
If you are attracted to someone,
don't put yourself in a position where you depend on them for everything
(like, with me for example, rides to and from places,
food, affection, physical contact, or recreation).
You can find all those things in the many friends you could have if you live your life outside of yourself,
and you will no longer need to feel necessary to someone in order to survive.

You are important in and of yourself.
You impact the world around you,
and can affect change on it if you keep your head up and stay focused.


Now, I leave you with the words of "I See The Light," as sung by Rapunzel in the fabulous film Tangled:
"All those days
Watching from the windows
All those years
Outside looking in
All that time
Never even knowing
Just how blind I've been

Now I'm here
Blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here
Suddenly I see
Standing here
It's oh, so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be

And at last, I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last, I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once
Everything looks different
Now that I see you."


Take heart and open your eyes to see someone for who they really are,
and life will be a whole lot easier for you.

Thanks for reading!
Love you all,
and have a great day!

<3,
Emily J. Sampson


p.s. I should clarify that in no way was this whole situation not my fault.
Even though I had been warned that the relationship would probably go no further than casual dating,
I neglected this fact, and let my emotions overwhelm me.
I let my hopes get the better of me,
and I invested in a relationship I imagined was possible.
Time and again I let this happen, even when he made it clear he was not interested,
and only wanted to be my friend (and was a very good one, at that),
but try as I might, my emotional attachment to him had grown so deeply bonded that I saw him as both a friend and more.
We will always be friends,
but it's taken a long time to get to that point,
and a lot of struggling and disagreements and misunderstandings.
But I wouldn't trade any moment,
because they all led me here.